WK 4: Chapters 9-12- Changing Perspectives, Altering Realities
As I have sat here staring at a blank screen for a couple of hours struggling on how to begin, where to connect to, determining what message should be expressed, it has hit me-quite literally staring right back at me…the blank page. I know you are probably wondering what meds I am on, but seriously, these chapters are metaphorically represented by my blank page. You see this document, this blog, was once blank, empty-initially, there were no limitations, there were no measurements. This page, this blog is my chess board, and it is wide open to a plethora of possibilities and it happened to have been clear of any obstacles or hindrances that could have impeded what is written. Better yet, it carries no baggage, no regrets, no vengeance, no expectations-other than what I determine is essential-what I realize I need to do in order to connect-not just with the assignment, but to connect intrinsically with the “art of possibility.” Now, as the words have emerged, I can battle with the letters or create something fluid and editable because there is no battle to conquer-no competition to prepare. However, although this was an epiphany, it isn’t the only realization or thought I have had since reading these chapters-I have been enveloped by ideas, contradictions, questions.
For example, these last four chapters kept prompting a connection within me to the first four chapters-perception and seeing new perspectives where blame is not a reality, only a minor obstacle that can be altered based on one’s choice, one’s power of choice and realization. Giving the “A” is how you tell the “WE” story, how to create a framework of possibility, how to become the board, and how to light the spark-it is all connected, just as (for the most part) we are connected by this seemingly insignificant blog. I mentioned Theresa Smith in my opening blog in response to reading the first four chapters in The Art of Possiblity by Rosamund Stone Zander because she gave me an ‘A’ through giving so freely to me the realization that I was worthy simply because I was a person, by emphasizing that my economic background, the life I was haunted by, the clothes I wore-that none of it had anything to do with my value. None of these things had the power to control me because they were just things and nothing more.
What I did not mention in that section was the reality of my life prior to that moment when Theresa Smith enlightened me to the possibilities at my fingertips, and here is where my contradiction with part of what I read emerges. I believe that we can be the chess board in many situations. I believe that we can be the framework for humanity just as she was for me, and we can help those around us rise above situations to see new potential and possibilities, but, perhaps it is my personal story that prevents me from connecting to the idea that all of us must wear the blame in situations and acknowledge our errors in problems or people that we encounter. Although I tend to void this topic as much as possible, I think that it may provide some basis as to why I am struggling so much with this concept. I was molested by a step-father for somewhere close to 10 years-the exact amount, I am not sure about because I can’t remember when it began, just when it finally ended.
I do not feel or believe that I should ever invite him into my life so we could discuss or resolve how he felt about the situation-I don’t care to, and I don’t think that anyone that molests a child and robs them of their memories can be permitted to be considered someone that I should give an ‘A’ to. Understanding why someone would do this does not alleviate the impact and ugliness that a child endures…now, with that said, does it mean that I have the right to play the poor me, card. No, I don’t believe that-I believe that my page is empty and what I write into my life is up to me and what I contribute to this final reading blog and to those around me is that we are all a book waiting to be written, and where we end up is only determined by our own actions; however, with each action, with each word, with each sentence, we can reinvent negativity into something as inspirational as the breath of a new born child.